This morning, Fat Woman stood , Personal Trainer safely behind her and away from the business end of her gun, looking across the English Countryside and thinking how much she enjoyed rural life.
This evening Fat Woman is suffering from city living.
Fat Woman is in Strange City for a course. Fat Woman has been waiting for this course for a year, and now it has come.
Fat Woman was so het up about keeping control of her diet that she went out of her way to book self catering accommodation rather than a hotel or bed and breakfast. Fat Woman plans to cook dinner and make a pot of quinoa for lunches. Fat Woman completely forgot about the need for tupperware so may end up improvising with one of her trusty Camelbak bottles. Fat Woman has four Camelbak bottles, all 750ml with the bite valve, but in different colours.
Fat Woman is not good with compromise.
Fat Woman also planned to go to the gym whilst staying in Strange City. Fat Woman's gym has a branch in Strange City. Fat Woman had scheduled in a visit this evening, but after rushing across town to find a mobile phone shop to replace her evil phone and climbing all the way back up the hill and up into the flat carrying her grocery shopping, going back downstairs to visit the local shop and then climbing back up again, Fat Woman considers she has done enough exercise for tonight.
Fat Woman is considering going to the gym tomorrow, but she will have to walk from the flat to her car, drive to the gym location, work out, drive back to the car park and walk back to the flat. Fat Woman will see how the course goes. Perhaps she will need the endorphins.
Showing posts with label exercise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exercise. Show all posts
Friday, 2 November 2012
Saturday, 10 March 2012
Fat Woman puts on weight
Fat Woman weighed in today. Fat Woman was not surprised to see that the scales showed 1lb increase in weight since last week. This is not because Fat Woman has been eating all the pies, oh no! Fat Woman has been eating quinoa and vegetables and just one double-filled Oreo cookie. Fat Woman did consider the possibility that the single double-filled Oreo cookie had magical fattening powers. This would explain the obesity epidemic in the USA. Innocent Americans would eat what they thought was a safe, traditional snack and find that each cookie gained them a pound. The introduction of the Oreo brand into the UK coincides with the growth of obesity. Coincidence? Fat Woman thinks so.
Fat Woman weighs in on a Friday. Fat Woman has an online diet scheme she is happy with. Like a gazillion women in the Western world, Fat Woman stands on the scales and then records her progress on the website.
Today Fat Woman stood on the scales expecting to see a significant drop. Fat Woman has done LOTS of exercise without increasing her calories. Fat Woman was shooting for 3lb in a week. This may see like a large amount but Fat Woman is eating 1800 calories a day for six days each week and is never hungry or without food. Fat Woman has managed to lose 2lb each week quite comfortably since December 2011. Fat Woman lost 3lb when she switched her exercise up to 8 hours per week instead of four. Fat Woman thinks of this as:
Fat Woman considered doing more exercise but thinks that more than ten hours each week is getting slightly obsessive for her at this stage. Fat Woman currently finds it hard to do two consecutive hours of exercise, or even two hours in a day. Eight hours spread across six days is achievable for Fat Woman right now.
Fat Woman has been so damn perfect this last week that the scales should have shown her 2lb loss. Fat Woman is a little tired of all bumf written about dieting which never talks about what happens when you ar doing everything right but things are going wrong. Certainly they never talk about the emotional impact of seeing your weight go up when it should go down.
Fat Woman even went back and weighed herself again before breakfast but after a bathroom break. The extra step meant Fat Woman only had one extra pound to deal with.
Fat Woman is wondering if it's possible her knickers and socks could weigh an entire pound. That was what she was wearing the second time. Fat Woman thinks not.
For the first time ever Fat Woman is suffering noticeably from pre-menstrual "water retention". Fat Woman thinks this is more likely than the stock response of "perhaps you're turning fat into muscle". Fat Woman may well be turning her fat into muscle but sincerely hopes not all of it because that would make her look like The Rock.
Fat Woman is giving the scales five days to show her weight loss. If it doesn't happen then it's back to the doctor to check her thyroid levels.
Fat Woman weighs in on a Friday. Fat Woman has an online diet scheme she is happy with. Like a gazillion women in the Western world, Fat Woman stands on the scales and then records her progress on the website.
Today Fat Woman stood on the scales expecting to see a significant drop. Fat Woman has done LOTS of exercise without increasing her calories. Fat Woman was shooting for 3lb in a week. This may see like a large amount but Fat Woman is eating 1800 calories a day for six days each week and is never hungry or without food. Fat Woman has managed to lose 2lb each week quite comfortably since December 2011. Fat Woman lost 3lb when she switched her exercise up to 8 hours per week instead of four. Fat Woman thinks of this as:
- 1lb through a diet deficit of 500 calories
- 1lb through exercise with Personal Trainer plus 3 hours more
- 0.5-1lb through the next 4 hours of exercise.
Fat Woman considered doing more exercise but thinks that more than ten hours each week is getting slightly obsessive for her at this stage. Fat Woman currently finds it hard to do two consecutive hours of exercise, or even two hours in a day. Eight hours spread across six days is achievable for Fat Woman right now.
Fat Woman has been so damn perfect this last week that the scales should have shown her 2lb loss. Fat Woman is a little tired of all bumf written about dieting which never talks about what happens when you ar doing everything right but things are going wrong. Certainly they never talk about the emotional impact of seeing your weight go up when it should go down.
Fat Woman even went back and weighed herself again before breakfast but after a bathroom break. The extra step meant Fat Woman only had one extra pound to deal with.
Fat Woman is wondering if it's possible her knickers and socks could weigh an entire pound. That was what she was wearing the second time. Fat Woman thinks not.
For the first time ever Fat Woman is suffering noticeably from pre-menstrual "water retention". Fat Woman thinks this is more likely than the stock response of "perhaps you're turning fat into muscle". Fat Woman may well be turning her fat into muscle but sincerely hopes not all of it because that would make her look like The Rock.
Fat Woman is giving the scales five days to show her weight loss. If it doesn't happen then it's back to the doctor to check her thyroid levels.
Monday, 20 February 2012
Fat Woman gets hormonal
Fat Woman has hormones. Fat Woman is like most women in this case, but Fat Woman hasn't seen or heard much mention of normal hormones and how they affect exercise.
Fat Woman had been having a lovely time at the gym. Fat Woman had been training fast and hard and had been feeling as though she was making progress. Fat Woman went to the gym expecting the good feeling to continue. Fat Woman was actually as week as a kitten. Fat Woman found that weights that had been light four days previously were now twice as heavy. Fat Woman found that the "burn" came more quickly and did not dispell as fast. Fat Woman found the most humiliating moment to be when Personal Trainer took her weights down from 15kg to 12.5kg, and then to 10kg and then to 7.5kg.
Fat Woman was on the last day of her menstrual cycle when she did her fast and hard training and found it easy. Today Fat Woman was on the fifth day of her new cycle. Fat Woman felt like a different person. Fat Woman couldn't lift as much or move as fast or hit as hard. Fat Woman ached and felt pain and was in short a decrepit old bag.
Fat Woman didn't speak with Personal Trainer about this because Personal Trainer is very, very young and also because they have a jokey, ironic kind of relationship. Fat Woman waited and spoke with Swimming Coach. Swimming Coach is also a personal trainer at the same gym but is a bit older than Personal Trainer. Fat Woman thinks of Personal Trainer as being 12, even though he is actually 21. Swimming Coach also has a degree in a related subject. Fat Woman feels more comfortable talking to Swimming Coach about biology that relates to personal things.
Swimming Coach was very helpful. Swimming Coach explained how the hormone oestrogen applies and how low oestrogen means more susceptibility to pain. It matched up with this:
Exercising early on in your menstrual cycle can feel a lot harder because of your lowered hormones.
Fat Woman hopes that anyone who was feeling fit and healthy one week and disgustingly out of shape the next will appreciate this fact.
Fat Woman is looking forward to next week and the week after when she is further into her menstrual cycle and can get back to slinging kettle bells and punching bags with enthusiasm.
Fat Woman had been having a lovely time at the gym. Fat Woman had been training fast and hard and had been feeling as though she was making progress. Fat Woman went to the gym expecting the good feeling to continue. Fat Woman was actually as week as a kitten. Fat Woman found that weights that had been light four days previously were now twice as heavy. Fat Woman found that the "burn" came more quickly and did not dispell as fast. Fat Woman found the most humiliating moment to be when Personal Trainer took her weights down from 15kg to 12.5kg, and then to 10kg and then to 7.5kg.
Fat Woman was on the last day of her menstrual cycle when she did her fast and hard training and found it easy. Today Fat Woman was on the fifth day of her new cycle. Fat Woman felt like a different person. Fat Woman couldn't lift as much or move as fast or hit as hard. Fat Woman ached and felt pain and was in short a decrepit old bag.
Fat Woman didn't speak with Personal Trainer about this because Personal Trainer is very, very young and also because they have a jokey, ironic kind of relationship. Fat Woman waited and spoke with Swimming Coach. Swimming Coach is also a personal trainer at the same gym but is a bit older than Personal Trainer. Fat Woman thinks of Personal Trainer as being 12, even though he is actually 21. Swimming Coach also has a degree in a related subject. Fat Woman feels more comfortable talking to Swimming Coach about biology that relates to personal things.
Swimming Coach was very helpful. Swimming Coach explained how the hormone oestrogen applies and how low oestrogen means more susceptibility to pain. It matched up with this:
"A 2010 study by Drs. Peter Tiidus and Deborah Enns of the Wilfrid Laurier University department of kinesiology notes that when estrogen levels are highest during the reproductive cycle, women experience a significant increase in muscle strength and force generation."Fat Woman was grateful to Swimming Coach, who is a very well informed personal trainer as well as a very nice chap. Fat Woman had been rather thrown for a loop with the sudden change in ability and had been completely unable to find anything helpful on Google. Fat Woman would like to make the following statement for readers and search engines:
Exercising early on in your menstrual cycle can feel a lot harder because of your lowered hormones.
Fat Woman hopes that anyone who was feeling fit and healthy one week and disgustingly out of shape the next will appreciate this fact.
Fat Woman is looking forward to next week and the week after when she is further into her menstrual cycle and can get back to slinging kettle bells and punching bags with enthusiasm.
Monday, 30 January 2012
Fat Woman goes to spinning class
Fat Woman was getting a little tired of aquarobics but all the other classes at the gym seemed to be permanently full. Fat Woman's swimming coach runs the spinning class at the gym. Mr Swimming Coach convinced Fat Woman that spinning class was an excellent activity and that she should try it. When Fat Woman explained about the class always being booked up Mr Swimming Coach announced he was in control of the class list and could put her name on the the top before he opened up places for public booking. Fat Woman was very impressed by this display of power and influence and was delighted to accept a place for the following week. Frankly, Fat Woman was swayed by the enthusiasm and the idea of getting a hot ticket.
Fat Woman went to spinning class. Spinning class was full of very fit people. Not just thin people, but muscley super fit people who eat quinoa and go on 15 mile walks up hills. Fat Woman doesn't find thin people intimidating but she is just getting used to fit people and isn't quite sure if they are going to patronise or pity her. As Fat Woman has no airs about her gym presence she prefers the patronising: sometimes it's well meaning and comes with useful knowledge.
There were some disappointed super fit people hanging about. They were hoping Fat Woman wasn't going to turn up so they could attend the class instead. This made Fat Woman feel rather bad and a usurper. Everyone else in the class obviously knew these people and was sorry they couldn't join in with their spinning class friends. Fat Woman felt rather sorry that she'd taken the place of someone who really, really wanted it and could make good use of it.
Spinning class has loud music and lots of energy. For a few minutes Fat Woman thought she might have found a new, fun class she could go to every week. This positive feeling lasted four minutes.It was the spinning bike itself that was the problem for Fat Woman. It was the first piece of gym equipment Fat Woman had experienced that fulfilled the often-repeated gripe that gym equipment excludes fat people. Fat Woman had always been under the impression this was a moan by super-super-SUPER fat people who were so fat they couldn't stand on the treadmill without it breaking or whose fingers were so fat they couldn't close their hands around the free weights. Fat Woman was never quite that fat, although admittedly she was getting close once. Fat Woman ran into reality with a bang when she sat on her spinning bike.
Spinning bikes have foot straps. This is so your foot doesn't fly off when the pedals are moving faster than you can keep up with. Fat Woman has super comfy 6E trainers for her wiiiiiiiide feet. If you have very wide feet and would like some very wide fitting trainers, Fat Woman can recommend www.widefitshoes.co.uk. They have a very good self-fitting guide. Fat Woman bought a lovely comfy pair of black trainers of the DB brand from Wide Fit Shoes. They were worth every penny.
So Fat Woman crammed her 6E feet into the pedal straps. The class was one hour long. At 35 minutes Fat Woman realised she could no longer feel her feet. Fat Woman's feet were properly numb. So very numb in fact that if she had looked down and her feet has been removed Fat Woman wouldn't have been surprised. But Fat Woman reasoned that this wasn't a problem as she wasn't really using her feet other than to connect with the pedals, and besides, nothing was actually hurting, so there was no reason to stop.
The pedals were part of another cause for concern for Fat Woman. Spinning class is not just about sitting down on a spinning cycle. In spinning class sometimes you stand up whilst pedalling and sometimes you do something they call "hover" where you are standing up but are bent over at the waist. The first time the instructor shouted "up!" Fat Woman sprang up along with everyone else. One revolution of the pedals was enough to invoke Fat Woman's first rule of exercise:
Fat Woman will not do anything which involves putting all her weight on to one knee and moving upwards.
Think about it. If someone dropped a 200lb weight on your knee joint it would hurt. Now imagine that 200lb extra weight being actually on your body in the form of fat. What do you think it would be like trying to lift that amount of extra weight? Stair climbers, treadmills with high inclines and cross-trainers are the biggest dangers to Fat Woman. Even the act of climbing steps means Fat Woman has to be careful that she isn't trying to pull her whole weight up by just one leg. Try it next time you're on the stairs and you'll see what is meant. When Fat Woman rose off her saddle her weight landed on her right leg, pushing her right pedal down and lifting her left pedal up. Then Fat Woman had to push the left pedal downwards by putting her weight on her left leg. Fat Woman's knee went NO!
Fat Woman listens to her knees. Fat Woman has to listen to her knees because they are inclined to give her hell if she doesn't. It's as yet undetermined if this is a problem with actual joint or just the muscles or ligaments or something, but the knee doesn't hurt so long as Fat Woman sticks to the flat or non-load bearing exercise. When her knee said NO! in such a firm and decisive way Fat Woman was ready for it. Fat Woman had come prepared to spend most of the class sitting down. In fact, Fat Woman had cleared this with the instructor beforehand. It was perfectly okay to sit down, and Fat Woman wasn't embarrassed about the accommodation. Fat Woman was perfectly prepared to spend the rest of the class sitting down whilst everyone else stood and hovered and crouched. After all, the rest of the class ate quinoa and went on hill walks. Fat Woman is just a fat woman.
The saddle of a spinning bike is very narrow. Not just normal person narrow, but narrow in the style of racing bike. Much, much narrower than the exercise bikes at the gym. After five minutes sitting on the very hard and very narrow saddle Fat Woman knew that it was going to hurt. Fifteen minutes later Fat Woman was very uncomfortable. Half way through the class Fat Woman was in pain. Not so much pain that she was going to admit to being unable to last through a spin class, but quite a lot of discomfort all the same. This is because where a lean person would have muscles next to the hard saddle, Fat Woman has soft rolls of fat. By sitting on this hard saddle Fat Woman pinched some of her soft rolls very, very hard. Do you know how painful it is to be pinched? Try in on yourself. Now get a six year old without restraint to do it. That's what it feels like.
Fat Woman found herself between the proverbial rock and the hard place. Sitting on the saddle for a whole hour was utterly horrid, and was why everyone else was so keen to stand up and "hover". Yet standing and pedalling was going to be a whole different level of pain for Fat Woman. What was Fat Woman to do?
In the end Fat Woman compromised by standing up when everyone else stood up (Fat Woman even "hovered") but not pedalling. This turned spinning class from a punishing workout into a cycle ride in the park, albeit one with unusually loud dance music and silent but sweaty companions. The first 40 minutes Fat Woman was working incredibly hard. The last 20 minutes Fat Woman had so many stand-up breaks that she barely broke a sweat.
Here is a summary of reasons why Fat Woman won't be going back to spinning class for a bit:
Don't think that Fat Woman didn't enjoy spinning class. Fat Woman has dropped a comment card in to the gym asking if there could be a beginners spin class. Fat Woman would get a cushion and put up with 1-5 but the addition of 7 means that Fat Woman needs so many accommodations she might as well do a programme on the stationary bike listening to her own music at a more convenient time and not have to deal with the guilt of taking up a place someone else really wants.
Fat Woman went to spinning class. Spinning class was full of very fit people. Not just thin people, but muscley super fit people who eat quinoa and go on 15 mile walks up hills. Fat Woman doesn't find thin people intimidating but she is just getting used to fit people and isn't quite sure if they are going to patronise or pity her. As Fat Woman has no airs about her gym presence she prefers the patronising: sometimes it's well meaning and comes with useful knowledge.
There were some disappointed super fit people hanging about. They were hoping Fat Woman wasn't going to turn up so they could attend the class instead. This made Fat Woman feel rather bad and a usurper. Everyone else in the class obviously knew these people and was sorry they couldn't join in with their spinning class friends. Fat Woman felt rather sorry that she'd taken the place of someone who really, really wanted it and could make good use of it.
Spinning class has loud music and lots of energy. For a few minutes Fat Woman thought she might have found a new, fun class she could go to every week. This positive feeling lasted four minutes.It was the spinning bike itself that was the problem for Fat Woman. It was the first piece of gym equipment Fat Woman had experienced that fulfilled the often-repeated gripe that gym equipment excludes fat people. Fat Woman had always been under the impression this was a moan by super-super-SUPER fat people who were so fat they couldn't stand on the treadmill without it breaking or whose fingers were so fat they couldn't close their hands around the free weights. Fat Woman was never quite that fat, although admittedly she was getting close once. Fat Woman ran into reality with a bang when she sat on her spinning bike.
Spinning bikes have foot straps. This is so your foot doesn't fly off when the pedals are moving faster than you can keep up with. Fat Woman has super comfy 6E trainers for her wiiiiiiiide feet. If you have very wide feet and would like some very wide fitting trainers, Fat Woman can recommend www.widefitshoes.co.uk. They have a very good self-fitting guide. Fat Woman bought a lovely comfy pair of black trainers of the DB brand from Wide Fit Shoes. They were worth every penny.
So Fat Woman crammed her 6E feet into the pedal straps. The class was one hour long. At 35 minutes Fat Woman realised she could no longer feel her feet. Fat Woman's feet were properly numb. So very numb in fact that if she had looked down and her feet has been removed Fat Woman wouldn't have been surprised. But Fat Woman reasoned that this wasn't a problem as she wasn't really using her feet other than to connect with the pedals, and besides, nothing was actually hurting, so there was no reason to stop.
The pedals were part of another cause for concern for Fat Woman. Spinning class is not just about sitting down on a spinning cycle. In spinning class sometimes you stand up whilst pedalling and sometimes you do something they call "hover" where you are standing up but are bent over at the waist. The first time the instructor shouted "up!" Fat Woman sprang up along with everyone else. One revolution of the pedals was enough to invoke Fat Woman's first rule of exercise:
Fat Woman will not do anything which involves putting all her weight on to one knee and moving upwards.
Think about it. If someone dropped a 200lb weight on your knee joint it would hurt. Now imagine that 200lb extra weight being actually on your body in the form of fat. What do you think it would be like trying to lift that amount of extra weight? Stair climbers, treadmills with high inclines and cross-trainers are the biggest dangers to Fat Woman. Even the act of climbing steps means Fat Woman has to be careful that she isn't trying to pull her whole weight up by just one leg. Try it next time you're on the stairs and you'll see what is meant. When Fat Woman rose off her saddle her weight landed on her right leg, pushing her right pedal down and lifting her left pedal up. Then Fat Woman had to push the left pedal downwards by putting her weight on her left leg. Fat Woman's knee went NO!
Fat Woman listens to her knees. Fat Woman has to listen to her knees because they are inclined to give her hell if she doesn't. It's as yet undetermined if this is a problem with actual joint or just the muscles or ligaments or something, but the knee doesn't hurt so long as Fat Woman sticks to the flat or non-load bearing exercise. When her knee said NO! in such a firm and decisive way Fat Woman was ready for it. Fat Woman had come prepared to spend most of the class sitting down. In fact, Fat Woman had cleared this with the instructor beforehand. It was perfectly okay to sit down, and Fat Woman wasn't embarrassed about the accommodation. Fat Woman was perfectly prepared to spend the rest of the class sitting down whilst everyone else stood and hovered and crouched. After all, the rest of the class ate quinoa and went on hill walks. Fat Woman is just a fat woman.
The saddle of a spinning bike is very narrow. Not just normal person narrow, but narrow in the style of racing bike. Much, much narrower than the exercise bikes at the gym. After five minutes sitting on the very hard and very narrow saddle Fat Woman knew that it was going to hurt. Fifteen minutes later Fat Woman was very uncomfortable. Half way through the class Fat Woman was in pain. Not so much pain that she was going to admit to being unable to last through a spin class, but quite a lot of discomfort all the same. This is because where a lean person would have muscles next to the hard saddle, Fat Woman has soft rolls of fat. By sitting on this hard saddle Fat Woman pinched some of her soft rolls very, very hard. Do you know how painful it is to be pinched? Try in on yourself. Now get a six year old without restraint to do it. That's what it feels like.
Fat Woman found herself between the proverbial rock and the hard place. Sitting on the saddle for a whole hour was utterly horrid, and was why everyone else was so keen to stand up and "hover". Yet standing and pedalling was going to be a whole different level of pain for Fat Woman. What was Fat Woman to do?
In the end Fat Woman compromised by standing up when everyone else stood up (Fat Woman even "hovered") but not pedalling. This turned spinning class from a punishing workout into a cycle ride in the park, albeit one with unusually loud dance music and silent but sweaty companions. The first 40 minutes Fat Woman was working incredibly hard. The last 20 minutes Fat Woman had so many stand-up breaks that she barely broke a sweat.
Here is a summary of reasons why Fat Woman won't be going back to spinning class for a bit:
- The class is full. Fat Woman would have to fight for a place every week and displace someone else.
- The class is full of super fit people who seem to be on a completely different plane to Fat Woman.
- All the super-fit people in the class seem to know each other already. It feels a little like breaking into a clique. Okay, some were friendly and it probably wasn't really a clique but it felt like one.
- The music was really, really loud but at the same time not the kind Fat Woman particularly likes.
- The class is a bit too early for convenience.
- Sitting on the narrow, hard saddle hurt Fat Woman quite a lot.
- Lots of the class is standing up and "hovering".which Fat Woman can't do.The choice is either hurt a knee or lose exercise time.
Don't think that Fat Woman didn't enjoy spinning class. Fat Woman has dropped a comment card in to the gym asking if there could be a beginners spin class. Fat Woman would get a cushion and put up with 1-5 but the addition of 7 means that Fat Woman needs so many accommodations she might as well do a programme on the stationary bike listening to her own music at a more convenient time and not have to deal with the guilt of taking up a place someone else really wants.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)