Fat Woman is feeling bitter. This is not Fat Woman's normal state of being, but it is definitely how she feels today.
Fat Woman has been working really, really hard at exercise, both in PT sessions and in BoxFit class. Fat Woman has gone to the time, effort and expense of eating a really good calorie controlled and also healthy diet. All this effort is slowly, slowly bringing Fat Woman results. Small results, certainly, a pound loss here and a pound loss there, but definite hard-won results. It has taken thousands of hours and an absolute fucking fortune for Fat Woman to lose the weight she has lost.
Fat Woman could have had weight loss surgery on the NHS. Fat Woman didn't. Fat Woman thought that major surgery that wasn't strictly necessary was a really bad thing. Fat Woman chose to work on getting control of her body and her mind.
Fat Woman wonders why she bothered when there are people swanning around telling her how EASY it is to lose weight now they've had their stomachs butchered. Oh, no! It's not hard at all. They feel just soooo great! They've lost kilos this last month. They just don't want to eat now.
Fat Woman is trying very hard to remember that their story is not her story and that she should keep her nose out and her head down, but she is finding it very hard. Fat Woman is jealous that these people are getting quick and easy results when she spends so much time working and sweating for every little loss. Fat Woman is trying to stay away from any thoughts that might hurt her karmicly, but she can't help herself, she's only human. Fat Woman wonders what is going to happen when the people with the gastric bands work out that it's still perfectly possible for them to eat more calories than they burn.
Fat Woman is not feeling very happy with herself, especially not as she ended up reading a piece about the truth of weight loss surgery on the Daily Mail website. This did not make Fat Woman feel any better about herself and frankly the attitudes in it made her feel a bit ill.
The sad thing is that Fat Woman is still fat enough to meet the NHS guidelines for weight loss surgery. Fat Woman thinks it's even more fucking sad that the NHS will pay for weight loss surgery
but isn't going to give her any help in all the costs of losing this weight that is apparently such a drain on the economy.