Monday, 18 November 2013

Fat Woman and the intolerant behaviour

Fat Woman is a big fan of tolerance. Fat Woman is if anything intolerant of intolerance and tries very hard not to be the thought police but thinks that anyone who is an adult and not stupid should behave to a certain minimum standard in public, and also when asked not to use a word or phrase should pick another bloody word. Fat Woman particularly hates people who lose their temper. Fat Woman has a seriously nasty temper and has spent years restraining herself. If Fat Woman was riled enough to actually want to hurt someone it would be a bad day for Society. Instead Fat Woman reminds herself that everyone does the best they can with what they have and strives to be patient. 

Fat Woman is spending a lot of time in calorie deficit at the moment. It has been worth it as Fat Woman has lost a fair amount of weight. The ironic thing is that whilst friends have been saying "Have you lost weight?" all summer when Fat Woman hadn't, no one has noticed her recent shift. Fat Woman can live with that, but she is fairly sure the people who were "noticing" before had just forgotten how fat she really was in real life. 

Fat Woman is a little short tempered as a result of running on low energy, and never more so than at the end of an unfueled training session. Fat Woman regrets that the unfueled training seems to be effective, so she will do it for a while longer. Still, Fat Woman is training hard with Personal Trainer. 

The only thing that remains the same each week about sessions with Personal Trainer is that at the end Fat Woman suffers assisted stretching; hamstrings to prevent back pain and quads to help keep her knees free of adhesions. Personal Trainer is quite amused by the fact Fat Woman is actually very flexible and plays the game of seeing how far over Fat Woman's head he can force her foot. In one of his cheekier moods Personal Trainer suggested that Thin Husband should be grateful for all this assisted stretching. Fat Woman was deep into hunger and broke a rule and snapped back at Personal Trainer that Thin Husband prefers dead bugs. If you don't know what dead bugs are you can find out at The trouble with this retort was not only had Fat Woman broken a cardinal rule of never, ever letting on to Personal Trainer anything about her sex life (Fat Woman does not want Personal Trainer thinking about her and sex in any way as it could only end in negative judgement as Fat Woman is much older and fatter than his girlfriends) but in losing her temper Fat Woman cited the wrong exercise. Fat Woman meant the table top hold, which is where dead bugs start, but without waving your legs around. Fat Woman has no idea what Personal Trainer thought about what she actually said but frantically hopes that he had the same kind of "Urgh! No!" reaction that people have when they are forced to confront the subject of their parents having a sex life and shoved the memory of the whole conversation under a mental pile of rocks rather than puzzling about just what would be enjoyable about dead bugs in bed.

When trying to force Fat Woman's leg behind her ear Personal Trainer waits for a signal from Fat Woman that he has gone far enough. Fat Woman used to say "Stop!" but Personal Trainer ignores that and pushes a little further so now she goes with "Ow!" Fat Woman tries not to make loud in-pain noises during session as she can be heard all around the gym and also it's not good for Personal Trainer's business. Personal Trainer has an annoying little joke where he ignores what Fat Woman is actually telling him (which is "Stop trying to force my leg behind my ear!") and makes a rather weak joke about there not being any owl in here so far as he can see. This has been going on for half a dozen sessions.

Fat Woman is not at her most tolerant at the end of an unfueled training session when she is lying on her back in the middle of the gym with a young man treating her as a rubber stress toy and today when Personal Trainer made the same joke yet again Fat Woman realised that she would love to wipe the smug smile off his face, love to stop him from abusing the power he had over her whilst she was apparently helpless and physically beneath him. Personal Trainer was looking over the top of Fat Woman's foot so he could continue to laugh at her when Fat Woman realised that if she just flexed her foot a little she would hit Personal Trainer right on his smug little chin..,

Fat Woman is not very proud of herself today and confesses she deserves to spend some time on the naughty step, possibly doing step-ups. Fat Woman would like to report that there was no permanent damage done to Personal Trainer's handsome countenance as it was only a very little tap. Fat Woman is not sure if Personal Trainer even noticed she's done it on purpose. Fat Woman is not sorry though, only a little bit guilty.

Friday, 15 November 2013

Fat Woman and the disappearing calories

Fat Woman is back logging what she eats and counting her calories. Fat Woman doesn't get why people claim that calorie counting is so hard; it's not like it was in the 1980s (the first time someone gave Fat Girl a calorie book) when you had to weigh food, look up that food in the book, calculate the total and then write it in your paper diary. Now you use an application, put in how much you ate and what you ate and everything is done for you. If you bear in mind that protein and carbohydrates have 4 calories a gram and fat has 9 calories a gram then it makes it fairly easy to estimate anything you aren't making yourself.

Fat Woman had an horrendous session with Personal Trainer and was inclined to treat herself at lunch time. In Fat Woman's strange little mind "treat" now means eight ounces of jacket potato rather than six, and having sweetcorn along with her chicken breast. Fat Woman is as surprised as you are especially as it would have been the perfect day to claim a right to buying and eating at least part of a box of Mr Kipling Frosted Fancies (in shops NOW, only for Christmas!). A chicken and sweetcorn jacket potato might not be everyone's idea of a treat, but when you've had a PT session with Personal Trainer it seems like exactly what you need. Fat Woman is disparaging about sweetcorn as a vegetable, considering it only sightly nutritionally superior to a boiled sweet and a fibre pill, but even Personal Trainer has said that everyone needs a little bit of sugar in their life, although he would prefer it if Fat Woman would eat her afternoon toast without jam. Fat Woman ignores this as Personal Trainer would also rather Fat Woman didn't eat toast. Fat Woman has given up fruit juice but is damned if she's not going to eat bread.

Fat Woman weighed her jacket potato before cooking it. Fat Woman likes to do this because the auto cook function on the microwave requires you to enter the potato weight. Fat Woman also likes to play "guess the weight of the potato" because there is a school of thought amongst Health Professionals that thinks that fat people have no idea of how much they are eating and these Health Professionals like to show fat people different sized samples of food in order to prove it. Fat Woman amazed at Slimming Word with her ability to guess the weight of the potato. Mind you, Fat Woman also remembers asking an American friend to pick up some 6-8oz potatoes at the supermarket. The friend brought back three giant potatoes weighing 2lb each. Fat Woman hasn't seen potatoes that big on sale in a supermarket in ten years or more.

When Fat Woman weighed her jacket potato before cooking it was 230g. When Fat Woman looked at her sightly over cooked jacket potato after cooking it was greatly diminished in size, so she weighed it again. It was 130g. Fat Woman figured that 100g of water disappearing was not a big deal.

Fat Woman went to enter the details of her lunch into her food diary and it occurred to her that she had been assuming that the food she entered the values for uncooked food. Fat Woman double checked and found that 230g of raw potato was listed as 175 calories whilst 130g generic cooked jacket potato was listed as 142 calories.

Fat Woman would like to point out to anyone who thinks this is a minimal difference that such minimal differences are what weight gain is made of, and also that if she wants a square of dark chocolate at the end of the day she has to work really hard to make sure she has enough calories left without being hungry.

Fat Woman is picking the lower value today on the grounds that she never offsets exercise against her calorie intake and so is probably due a few extra calories anyway.

Fat Woman and the number of the day

Fat Woman likes numbers, particularly 256 but that's just a personal quirk left over from her computer spod days. Numbers are quantifiable. They prove things. When things are valued numerically you know where you are. And if you don't like what you're seeing rather than changing the number you can measure something else, such as body fat percentage rather than weight.

Personal Trainer has two main ways of torturing Fat Woman. In her heart-raising muscle-building sweat-and-pain-inducing workouts Fat Woman usually either works to time or she works to reps. Fat Woman prefers reps to time for some unknown mental reason, probably because you are more in control with reps whereas working to time is a pain unless you can watch the clock because you have to know how much time is left to be able to conserve just enough strength to get through it. Fat Woman likes Tabata workouts because 20 seconds is easy to quantify .German interval training sends Fat Woman to sleep.

Personal Trainer used to give Fat Woman nice friendly little numbers. Fat Woman hasn't seen a number under fifteen for ages. Fat Woman can live with this as she is getting stronger all the time, as well as faster and better in form. Still, Fat Woman thinks fondly of the days when ten of anything was expected of her and she got a rest. Now Personal Trainer expects multiples of tens.

Personal Trainer has a new number. That number is 100.

It is lucky that Fat Woman appreciates the symmetry of numbers and how things multiply because she did non-stop sets of 20 TRX bodyweight squats to a depth that not even an Olympic lifter would sneer at followed by 20 dumbbell straight legged deadlifts five times in a row without rest or mercy. And if anyone is thinking that isn't a lot of squats Fat Woman would like to point out that when she's squatting her own bodyweight she's probably lifting more than you do anyway.

Fat Woman has the worst DOMS she's had in weeks and her only satisfaction is that having made her in pain and therefore grumpy Personal Trainer is going to have to put up with her for an hour. Fat Woman also has the Sesame Street pinball song about numbers stuck in her head and may have to sing it out loud to kill the earworm.


Fat Woman is also remembering 5-4-3-2-1 chocolate bars but can't remember how they tasted.

Thursday, 14 November 2013

Fat Woman and the pleasing judgement

Fat Woman went to shoot a CPSA registered shoot. It was Fat Woman's first registered shoot since the one detailed in Fat Woman and the clay shooting competition. Fat Woman did not have a nice time at her first registered shoot.

Fat Woman had a much nicer time at her second registered shoot. Fat Woman went to the shoot, shot a 49, had tea with some nice people she had met before and came home again. This was mostly because the shoot wasn't squadded, so Fat Woman wasn't stuck with a group of grumpy strangers.

Fat Woman was a little disappointed that she didn't manage more than 50, but admits that she made two silly mistakes. The first was when Fat Woman was distracted by a trap for a different stand going off behind her head, even though she knew she should be shooting the crow in front of her. The second was a crossing bunny rabbit of the kind Fat Woman has shot a hundred times. Fat Woman doesn't regret her first miss of that rabbit but does regret her second miss, which was stupid.

Over all though, Fat Woman was quite pleased with her return to registered shooting and really liked all the interesting targets. Fat Woman did have to face up to the fact that she couldn't hit a quartering crosser with a punt gun and asked for this to be addressed at her next shooting lesson. It turns out that Shooting Coach is good but not infallible and even after her next lesson Fat Woman still cannot shoot a quartering crosser with any consistency.

What Shooting Coach did say was that Fat Woman's 49 was really worth much more than that. Fat Woman was incredibly surprised at this because Shooting Coach is very nice to students, but is blisteringly unforgiving when it comes to cartridges, rules, refereeing, set up, weather or anything else that might affect the score. Shooting Coach said that in his opinion it was an unusually hard registered shoot, and the fact that it was also incredibly windy meant that Fat Woman might have scored well into the 50s had it been a similar shoot. This was nice to hear because it meant that not only is Fat Woman keen to go and shoot another registered shoot, it means that when she hears of people doing slightly better than her she might be as good as them after all. Fat Woman is not particularly competitive, but she likes to know her place in the firmament. This probably means that Fat Woman is way more competitive than everyone else who doesn't really care what anyone else is up to.

The really important thing that Fat Woman can take away from her latest competition experience is that she wasn't dead last. This pleases Fat Woman greatly.

Sunday, 10 November 2013

Fat Woman and the bad mood

Fat Woman has been a little on the grumpy side recently, it is true. On the inside Fat Woman feels that her tetchiness is entirely rational and allowed. After all, Fat Woman can't help if the world is full of selfish/uneducated/irrational/slow thinking people, can she?

The thing that clues Fat Woman into the idea that perhaps it's her not the rest of the world (apart from the fact that she is not a narcissist) is that there are just so many unthinking/self-centred/ignorant/thick people around. Now, Fat Woman is not a saint by any stretch of the imagination, not even the human kind that Maximilian Kolbe was, but she has always lived by the principle that all words and deeds have effects and finds it very hard when people act as though they are acting in a vacuum. What is up with people being so awful? Not just directly to others, but being indirectly horrible? Then claiming that "I didn't meeeeeean it like that!"

Today Fat Woman is fed up with the lack of celebration for people who have lost weight and worked hard to be fit but who have not reached "target weight". It's as though you are only redeemed once you are a socially acceptable size. In fact, Fat Woman has quit Tesco Diets for MyFitnessPal at least in part because of this. Most properly fat people won't ever reach that "target weight" that's based on BMI. It's just impossible. Fat Woman is disgusted with this unfair and frankly shallow state of affairs. Why is losing 5 stone an achievement to celebrate when you end up at 10 stones but not if you're still at 15 stones? Bah!

Fat Woman is going to go and lift some heavy weights to make herself feel better.

Wednesday, 6 November 2013

Fat Woman and the difficult equation

Fat Woman has a favourite doctor. The doctor won Fat Woman's love and respect when she said: "I don't know. Let me look it up." This same doctor once said in front of Fat Woman: "After all, no fat people came out of Belsen." Fat Woman likes this quotation and has even said it back to the doctor, who had forgotten the context in which is was originally said and was rather shocked to hear the words coming out of the mouth of a fat person. Fat Woman had a naughty little moment of glee at that :-) Fat Woman has also pointed out to her doctor that it is actually easier for a very fat person to lose weight because just moving around means they burn so much more. Fat Woman quite misses the days when an hour on the rowing machine would net her a burn of 1200 calories.

As a result of getting to know Fat Woman and her realistic and sometimes shockingly accurate grasp of her health and situation, Fat Woman's doctor is sympathetic and treats her clinically i.e. according to how Fat Woman says she feels, not just as to whether her blood results are within the lab range. The doctor also lets Fat Woman have thyroid blood tests every two months to try and help her out of the loop where she loses weight easily because her blood is right, then suddenly her dose is too high and she puts on pounds within a week, and then is the right dose for the weight she is now. The year Fat Woman has lost the same four pounds at least five times. After June Fat Woman changed her mantra to "Don't stop!" because it is too heart breaking to focus on weight loss when she is doing everything right on paper and yet her body is working against her. A week of weight loss costs Fat Woman at least five hours of exercise, plus twice as much in preparation and travel, plus the same again in food shopping and preparation. To have that disappear in a blink of an eye is massively disheartening.

The one thing that Fat Woman and her doctor have always agreed on is that if calories consumed are fewer than the calories burned you will lose weight. It's simple physics, for goodness' sake. Metabolic disorders make this rate slower, but you could in theory simply reduce the amount of calories until you started losing weight. Unfortunately this comes with side-effects such as having no energy, feeling sick, being in pain from digestive problems, being barely able to walk etc etc. Fat Woman admits that she thinks far too much of herself to follow any eating plan than leaves her hurting and unable to function when the alternative is to be functional and fat. Fat Woman is defensive of her need to eat as she has had quite enough experience with people thinking that because she is fat she shouldn't be allowed to eat at all. For anyone who is not entirely clued up on such things, food is a human need and having food is a human right. In fact Article 5 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights says: "No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment." Fat Woman considers the suggestion that fat people be denied food on any grounds let alone the idea that having fat on your body is somehow morally offensive to be at the very least degrading as well as in violation of Article 25: "Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food". It took a very long time for Fat Woman to get her head around the idea that she deserved to eat, even if she was fat.

Fat Woman counts herself lucky that she made it past 35 without developing an eating disorder.

Fat Woman lost weight for the first time as an adult when she learned about the Basal Metabolic Rate calculator in 2007. This was the first scientific evidence Fat Woman had even seen to suggest that weight loss plans could be anything more specific than "eat 1500 calories a day". For what it's worth, Fat Woman can lose weight on more calories than most women need to maintain their weight. Fat Woman uses the number of calories she would need to consume if she were completely sedentary and subtracts the 500 that make up a loss of a pound a week (a pound of fat being 3,500 calories) and then doesn't eat any more food even though she does a fair amount of exercise. This means that when Fat Woman follows her eating plan and has all her hormone levels in the right places she can log up to 2lb weight loss each week.

Fat Woman had been making fitness progress including putting on muscle but had not lost any weight for a while. Fat Woman had a review of her priorities and decided that although losing more weight wasn't her first (or even second or third) priority she would find it useful for it to happen, so she returned to first principles, which meant keeping a food diary. Fat Woman has the private opinion that anyone who claims they want to lose weight but who won't commit to writing down what they eat and how much so it can be compared against their BMR is hoping for some dieting magic. This is of course what a lot of diet clubs prey on. Fat Woman hates the idea that dieting is "hard". It's not fucking hard if you've got a basic understanding of adding up. With MyFitnessPal you don't even have to do the maths. What is the issue with putting food on the scales before you cook it, or reading the side of the packet? Fat Woman suspects this wilful ignorance is really a refusal to face up to the fact that people are eating more than they should be. As Fat Woman spent years being fatter than the amount she ate meant she should be she has no sympathy. People should go to therapy and deal with their issues.

Fat Woman is quite clued up about nutrition and has learned many good practises such as swapping carbohydrates for fat and knows that low Glycemic Index carbs make you feel fuller for longer. When Fat Woman is on plan she has a food diary that not even Personal Trainer can moan about (apart from the bread - Fat Woman will not give up bread, she did it for three months and it made no difference, and it still rankles with Personal Trainer). Fat Woman prides herself on being able to create a filling and tasty meal within her allowed calories and has learned lots of new recipes and cooking techniques since she overhauled her diet. Thin Husband only had one comment about the regime inflicted upon him and that was that he liked having so much steak.

So Fat Woman started her food diary again in a determined effort to make further change and move forward.

Personal Trainer has a knack for smelling weakness where Fat Woman is concerned. Sometimes this means he wants Fat Woman to make him a cake, but where he seizes the advantage is when it comes to their area of contention: nutrition. Fat Woman thinks she is perfectly fair in saying that if Personal Trainer brings her two peer reviewed papers, one establishing the principle and the other confirming it, she will apply the findings to her diet. Personal Trainer finds it annoying that whatever he recommends Fat Woman will go off and research until she understands what is being talked about instead of blindly trusting him. Fat Woman has been told by too many medical practitioners that she should eat starvation levels of food in order to lose weight so she doesn't trust ANYONE on the subject of nutrition. Also, Personal Trainer once made the mistake of saying to Fat Woman that soy was a fat burner when it is in fact an emulsifier, and the resounding argument lasted four days, ending with Personal Trainer denying he ever said it. Fat Woman does not believe that she imagined it or that Personal Trainer went on to offer the excuse that he got the tip from someone who was ripped so it must be true (arrrgh!). Fat Woman also eschews fat burners (dangerous to very fat women), zero carb diets (same, less chance of a heart attack, more chance of depression), green tea extract (shown to be ineffective in women over the long term by more than one study), and the idea that the calories you eat late at night are more fattening than those you eat in the morning (please see previous references to the laws of physics). That's not to say that Personal Trainer has suggested these particular ideas to Fat Woman, but they float around every gym.

This time Fat Woman found herself hoist onto the petard of her belief in calories in versus calories out. Personal Trainer has reviewed Fat Woman's nutrition several times and made helpful suggestions such as swapping some carbohydrates for fat. Fat Woman thinks this was a perfectly sensible suggestion, unlike when Personal Trainer suggested taking out some of her cereal and replacing it with nuts or seeds. Fat Woman looked at the relevant nutritional information and found that would actually decrease the protein value of that meal and increase the calories and pointed out to Personal Trainer that she wasn't paying £4 a box for granola for no good reason. Instead Fat Woman took out some cereal and replaced it with a protein shake. Personal Trainer will not shake his belief that unfuelled cardio is beneficial, although Fat Woman has refused to try it on the grounds that to maintain her weight she needs to be fuelled 150 calories per waking hour, and that by eating 400 calories for breakfast she is technically well unfuelled by the time she meets Personal Trainer at 11am. Personal Trainer then suggested that Fat Woman could have a lower-carb breakfast. Fat Woman wanted to know just how low Personal Trainer thought low carb was, as her scrambled eggs on toast had just 20g of carbohydrates in and that was low by anyone's business. Personal Trainer acknowledged this but then said in that case perhaps Fat Woman could try not eating carbohydrates before training.

Fat Woman flicked through her mental database for reasons why she shouldn't eat a zero carb breakfast on training days and found none. Fat Woman found herself agreeing that she would refrain from eating carbohydrates before training.

Fat Woman has been back on a calorie-controlled diet for the last ten days, and admittedly the sightly higher than usual number the scales showed that motivated her to restart serious calorie counting could have been a little inflated due to things like water retention, but she has dropped 10lb in ten days. Fat Woman is worried that either she she is in the sweet spot before she tips over into overmedication for her underactive thyroid (it's a bit like being on speed apparently) or she is going to have to admit to Personal Trainer that despite the lack of scientific proof his suggestion has worked.

Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Fat Woman and the interesting assumptions

Fat Woman was going to post about the interesting assumptions made by people about her simply because she is fat, but frankly it's boring and can be boiled down thusly: New person sees Fat Woman and assumes that because she is fat she is sedentary, eats unhealthily and eats too many calories in a day, and this is mostly likely because Fat Woman is stupid and uneducated and probably self-delusional as well.

Fat Woman is tired of coddling prejudiced and ignorant people and thinks they should all be sent on some kind of course where it is explained to them that their assumptions are just that, assumptions, and that to be useful members of Society they could do with learning to keep an open mind and to assess evidence rather than spouting their own personal distillation of what they have absorbed by osmosis. Fat Woman thinks that if you aren't yet clued into the fact that what people look like isn't a good way to tell anything about them apart from what they look like you are probably incredibly slow on the uptake. Or you live in some weird Jilly Cooper-created world where all the heroes are handsome and rich and everyone else is fat, ugly, poor and stupid. Fat Woman hopes for your sake that if that is the case then you're a hero and that you remember where that world is because she's fairly confident that most people in this world whose opinion she would give a toss for think you're a twit. And that goes double if you display racism/sexism/homophobia/religious prejudice, and double again if you deny you're doing it.

Fat Woman lives every day in a great big calorie deficit and has no extra energy to spend indulging people who haven't wit enough to operate as anything other than media-programmed bots with received wisdom filling up their RAM. The most tiresome part is people who get defensive if it is even suggested that they might like to change their behaviour because this is a slight on their moral impunity and the preciousness and rightness of their existence and of what they said, even though they have never actually thought about what they said before, they have just spouted it. Fat Woman has spent years with people telling her that her existence as a fat woman is an affront to life, the universe and everything, so she has no sympathy for those who might find it difficult to accept that polite Society has moved on and they need to temper what they say.

People are different to you and that's okay. Now, mind your manners or you won't have any friends left.

Friday, 1 November 2013

Fat Woman and the scary Hallowe'en candy

Fat Woman likes Hallowe'en. First, that's because Hallowe'en has an apostrophe in its name. Secondly, Hallowe'en is pure fun. People dress up in costume to make other people smile, and these other people give the people in costume sweets to make them happy. It's just a big happiness loop. Fat Woman has little electronic ghosts outside on her doorstep and a sign in the window saying "Trick or Treaters welcome 5.30pm-7.30pm" just so that everyone is clear on the parameters of her engagement with the celebrations, and so that parents allow their little darlings to knock on her door.

Fat Woman was shooting earlier in the day so her usual two hour window was shortened by half an hour. This meant that Fat Woman has slightly more delicious sugary things left over than she had expected. Thin Husband refused to take the remaining sweets to work on the grounds that he and his minions would "just eat them". Fat Woman is not seeing the issue with this; Thin Husband now weighs less than he did at university thanks to Fat Woman's healthy cooking, and so can indulge in sweets. Fat Woman suspects that Thin Husband doesn't want his minions at work moaning about how they've put on weight thanks to the sweets he brought in, but he never actually said that so Fat Woman let it go.

Fat Woman is back to writing the most boring diary in the world, her food diary, so this is a really bad week for Fat Woman to have a box of sweets in the house. Fat Woman is generous with the quality of her Hallowe'en sweets and could quite happily eat her way through the remaining bags of Moam chews, starting with the strawberry and cherry ones, moving on to the lemon and orange ones and finishing up with any cola or mixed flavour ones. However, Fat Woman is not going to have any more than the couple (five actually) of strawberry chews she snaffled whilst manning the door at the same time as trying to cook dinner so there are six packets of sweets that need disposing.

Fat Woman is not averse to "wasting" food. Fat Woman refuses to be caught in the dichotomous morality projected by the world around her that tells her it is not only bad to waste food but it is also bad for a fat person to eat anything more than a calorie deficit. Fat Woman regularly throws away perfectly good fruit on the grounds that Thin Husband won't eat it and she that she has had her rations. Fat Woman also refuses to eat anything past its best before date on the grounds that it might not kill you but it doesn't taste good, and if you're eating mindfully and being aware of every mouthful it isn't a fun experience to be aware that every mouthful tastes slightly stale. However, Fat Woman was loathe to consign the delicious Moam chews to the black bin when they could bring so much joy and happiness to others. Fat Woman has calculated that the entirety of the leftovers would be 4,728 calories, or as Fat Woman sees it, nine and half days of calorie deficit i.e. dieting. Fat Woman is fairly confident that if anyone ate that number of excess calories they would put on approximately one and a third pounds, or if she did so herself she would put on three pounds and get a disgusting sugar crash afterwards. Fat Woman is possibly engaging in doublethink and thinking that sugar is evil but only to her, everyone else will take a little bit and enjoy it in a restrained and healthy matter.

Fat Woman is taking the extra sweeties to the gym today. The staff of the gym are made up of lovely young people who do cardio five times and day and they can afford to eat sugar. Or if they are like Personal Trainer when he's on one of his hardcore healthy eating plans and think sugar is evil they can throw them out. Honour is satisfied either way. If Fat Woman worked at a gym she would offer customers free sweets after every workout in the most evil customer retention strategy ever.