Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Fat Woman and the eternal wait

Fat Woman is still pregnant. According to the NHS Crown-to-rump measurements at her 12 weeks scan Fat Woman was due on 23rd November. Fat Woman thinks that her due date is actually 7th December, because she is old-fashioned and goes by LMP, but she is rather tired of being pregnant and won't mind at all if the NHS turn out to be right. Oldest Friend's psychic predicted pink storks on 27th November and Fat Woman would be quite happy to oblige in this instance. Small Baby is definitely sitting much lower that she was previously and is currently head down like a good child should be. As the crown-to-rump measurement after 11,5 weeks has a 10 day window, Fat Woman is happy for everyone to be right so long as she can sleep on her front again. 

If Fat Woman is ever allowed to sleep again that is.

Fat Woman has kept up her visits to Osteopath because of the agonising pain caused by her sacroiliac joint (hip) if it isn't seen to regularly. Osteopath practices Western Medical Acupuncture. Fat Woman approves of acupuncture being used on muscles and fascia, having read at least one decent paper on how efficacious it can be and, more importantly, why it works, although she won't believe anyone who tells her that needles can fix asthma/hayfever/depression etc. Osteopath has encouraged Fat Woman to keep up her visits so that her hips can be kept as flexible as possible. Fat Woman wasn't sure about the need for this but she generally breaks a part of her on a regular basis and has given Osteopath lots to do in recent months.

Today Fat Woman was so tired of huffing and puffing and rolling around like a beached whale that she said to Osteopath that if he wanted to stick any of his acupuncture needles into the bits of her that Chinese medicine purports as pressure points to bring on labour, he could go right ahead. Osteopath is never one to miss a laugh and was happy to oblige whilst Fat Woman was waiting for the needles in her shoulders to come out.

Fat Woman has no idea if acupressure points will bring on the labour that someone else's psychic has predicted but she won't mind if it does.

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