Friday, 21 December 2012

Fat Woman and the bazoomas

Fat Woman was minding her own business on the rowing machine and had just knocked two whole seconds off her interval time. Fat Woman has been rowing 250m intervals throughout 2012. Back in April Fat Woman was struggling to get below 1 minute 10 seconds. Now Fat Woman has recorded a time of 1 minute 1.08 seconds. Fat Woman is determined to get below a minute in 2013.

Fat Woman was playing with arm position. Fat Woman knows that she is meant to be pulling the bar into her abs, but there is a lot of stomach in the way. This drastically shortens her pull. When Fat Woman pulls the bar higher there is more pull, but the tension is wrong. Fat Woman was also trying to change the pressure on her hands as she is fed up of getting blisters and callouses. Fat Woman doesn't mind looking like she has been working in the fields when she has been working in the fields, but would prefer to come out of the gym looking better for it.

Sparky paused briefly on his way past to say: "Pull into your abs, not up to your bazoomas."  Fat Woman has said many times before that she is grateful for any help even if it is delivered in a patronizing fashion. However, although Fat Woman was taken aback at the idea that someone would use a slang word for breasts in a professional setting, it was the choice of a word meaning "extremely large breasts" that really made her jaw drop. On to her extremely large breasts.

Fat Woman guesses she should be grateful that Sparky didn't say "nunga-nungas" or "tatty bojangles."

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