Fat Woman was not at her sunny best in the morning. Not only was Fat Woman's back hurting, she had slept unusually badly, dreaming on being bitten by a spider. Internet research initially suggested an enemy or a betrayal, but further investigation suggested conflict with your inner psyche. Fat Woman will go with this as she has killed all her enemies and the only person up for betraying her in anything is Swimming Coach and Fat Woman is not giving him the chance.
So when Personal Trainer bounced up in an inordinately full-of-beans manner Fat Woman was rather taken aback. Fat Woman didn't realise quite how witchy she was feeling until Personal Trainer ramped up the cheeriness and then enquired as to how she was. Fat Woman said she would be fine twenty minutes into session when the mood-lifting effects of exercise took effect.
Personal Trainer waited until 40 minutes into session to ask Fat Woman what she had for breakfast. Fat Woman HATES this question. Fat Woman has no problem discussing what she has been eating but the what-did-you-have-for-breakfast question is a screwdriver that Personal Trainer uses to prise the lid off her diet so he can start the game of constant improvement. Fat Woman does not like people critiquing what she eats; it gives her flashbacks to being Fat Girl and having ignorant and prejudiced people making unformed and simply wrong judgements about her diet. Fat Woman particularly remembers a church youth outing when everyone raised their hands wanting seconds but it was her that a youth leader singled out for a talk on gluttony. Fat Woman is prepared to discuss diet when she is prepared for it, such as when she presents a food diary, but she finds the only productive consideration is within defined parameters. There are so many opinions and views on what is "good" that it is pointless to open the conversation without stating what the priority values are. Is your priority to meet a calorie goal, to get a certain percentage of protein, to eat whole food, to avoid dairy/wheat/soy, to eat organic, to eat low GI?
Fat Woman has her own eating agenda and it includes eating mindfully. If Fat Woman isn't going to enjoy food she doesn't eat it. Reducing food to fuel isn't helpful to Fat Woman. Personal Trainer seems to feel differently at different times. So far as Fat Woman can tell Personal Trainer oscillates between eating everything before him (in the name of "bulking") or having an incredibly strict diet. Fat Woman has been very careful not to forbid herself anything and to have a slow but consistent weight loss programme, avoiding the boom and bust cycles of yo-yo dieting. So when Personal Trainer started wanting to talk about food Fat Woman did her best to shut him down. Fat Woman didn't protest the question - which she should have done because she has told Personal Trainer several times not to ask that specific question - because she hoped she could get the whole thing over with. Personal Trainer interrupted Fat Woman's answer to crow in triumph that she had answered immediately without protest. Fat Woman answered without hesitation because unlike last week when she had eaten protein pancakes without the protein but with maple syrup there wasn't really anything for Personal Trainer to criticise.
Fat Woman did point out to Personal Trainer that she didn't like the question and that he knew that. Personal Trainer asked if Fat Woman was going to ask him what he had for breakfast. Fat Woman said she wasn't. Personal Trainer asked why. Fat Woman said that she didn't care. Fat Woman doesn't care what anyone else eats and wishes they would not care what she eats.
Personal Trainer didn't care that Fat Woman didn't care what he ate for breakfast and described his five egg white omelette with blueberries. Fat Woman thought it sounded disgusting never mind nutritionally dodgy. Fat Woman was polite and asked if Personal Trainer was following a specific regime or just an eating style. Fat Woman has no respect for any weight loss programme that doesn't take into account calories consumed and is not willing to engage in conversation about diet with anyone who hasn't outlined their specific goals and parameters.
Fat Woman is going to have to talk to Personal Trainer about not bringing his attitude to food into her sessions. Personal Trainer should be talking to Fat Woman about her diet when he asked or when her end-of-month results suggest there is a problem. Fat Woman has got to her age without at eating disorder and isn't keen to pick up anyone else's.