Friday, 1 February 2013

Fat Woman gets asked the question

Fat Woman wasn't having the best training session she'd ever had. Fat Woman was aching rather from Monday's 5kg deadlift increase. Fat Woman marvels at how a deadlift can make nearly every part of her ache. Fat Woman's squat had increased a little and her bench press not at all. There had also been a little bit of friction when Personal Trainer turned up late but then announced he had another client straight after and they would have to have shortened timed rests so they could finish on time. Fat Woman retorted if that was the case he should have arrived on time. Personal Trainer got a bit miffed and said that he'd been there three minutes and they had done nothing but talk. Fat Woman pointed out that they had talked about nothing but Personal Trainer. Personal Trainer declared they would just not talk then, and flounced. Fat Woman said that was perfectly fine with her, and did not talk whilst Personal Trainer was sulking. Fat Woman doesn't know that Personal Trainer was sulking for sure, but if he wasn't he did a pretty good impression of as sulk.

Personal Trainer got over his sulk when he realised that Fat Woman wasn't bothered or paying it any attention. However it is important for Personal Trainer to have the upper hand in sessions. Fat Woman doesn't mind this because it means she has to think less, although she will only put up with letting Personal Trainer win the verbal sparring for so long. Personal Trainer is never entirely sure if Fat Woman means it when she says things such as "You're so right."

Personal Trainer decided to go for the jugular by asking The Question. Personal Trainer didn't ask Fat Woman to marry him.  The Question that Personal Trainer asked Fat Woman was: "What did you have for breakfast?" Fat Woman knows that The Question is simply an excuse to pry into her nutrition  Personal Trainer tried this the first session they ever had together when he suggested that 10g of golden syrup on 60g of oats was a lot, and that honey would be better. Fat Woman has since established that Personal Trainer likes exactly the same ratio of sweetener to oats on his porridge, and that the change to honey would have meant a difference of 0.1g of protein. Fat Woman nearly had a melt down the first time The Question was brought up. And the second time. The third time Fat Woman  told Personal Trainer that she wasn't playing that game with him because she could never win. It didn't matter what Fat Woman told Personal Trainer he would never say that she had done everything right, there would always be something she had done wrong. Personal Trainer protested this, but Fat Woman is wary of developing food issues and told Personal Trainer that if he wanted to ask about her nutrition he could ask straight out without being sly about it. The fourth time Personal Trainer tried asking this question Fat Woman used the same technique that toddlers learn, holding a hand up in the STOP position and saying NO very firmly. Each time Personal Trainer claims that he was just making conversation and wanted to talk about what he had for breakfast. Fat Woman does not believe this because Personal Trainer has no problem volunteering information about his diet and no problem being disingenuous when Fat Woman catches him being manipulative.

This time, after pointing out that The Question was banned, Fat Woman declared that she hadn't had any breakfast and that Personal Trainer should go ahead and tell her what he ate if he wanted to share. Personal Trainer was not happy with this answer as Fat Woman was obviously fibbing. Fat Woman always eats breakfast.

It just so happened that Fat Woman had woken up at 5am and had given up on sleep well before 6am. Standing in her kitchen at an ungodly hour Fat Woman decided that she was going to cook herself the breakfast she had been craving for several weeks - American pancakes with maple syrup and bacon. Fat Woman usually has granola or porridge. Fat Woman looked for protein pancake recipes but didn't want to risk an experiment. So Fat Woman ate protein pancakes without the protein but with maple syrup and bacon. It was grilled bacon but it was the streaky bacon that Fat Woman keeps in the freezer for cooking rather than the lean bacon medallions she usually has.

Personal Trainer didn't criticise much but he did point out that Fat Woman had had a lot of sugar recently. Personal Trainer mentioned there had been cake earlier in the week. Fat Woman doesn't remember telling Personal Trainer this but he might have seen her post-workout simple carbs AKA chocolate cake with ganache topping sitting in her car. Fat Woman said that she was on a calorie controlled diet and could eat what she liked so long as she stopped. Personal Trainer simply said that he had set her guidelines.

Fat Woman went home and thought about what she had done.

Fat Woman remembers that although her principle of calorie counting is the bedrock of her plan, she had actually given herself a good case of hyperglycaemia earlier that week. This was through bad planning and timing, but Fat Woman has to admit there was Dairy Milk chocolate involved. Healthy snack to keep you going + Dairy Milk + actual meal rather late = way too many calories.

Fat Woman is remembering that the reason she eats a certain set of things is that it makes her feel better. It keeps her healthy. Losing weight is secondary to that. So although weight loss is great, Fat Woman regards it as a side effect of eating enough food to stop her feeling hungry. This happens when Fat Woman makes good food choices. Fat Woman likes having energy and is going to try to keep in mind that although she can eat what she likes, she doesn't like feeling horrendously sleepy later. Fat Woman has been adjusting to the new protein requirements, but thinks she has got the hang of protein powder now.

Personal Trainer got at least three cakes for his birthday and did not bring Fat Woman a slice of any of them.

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