Friday, 19 April 2013

Fat Woman and the gentle sigh

Fat Woman both hates and loves assisted stretching. Things Fat Woman doesn't like about assisted stretching include:

  • Lying on the floor
  • Having Personal Trainer holding parts of her
  • Having Personal Trainer holding parts of her whilst she is lying on the floor
  • Having to to be really careful where she looks because Personal Trainer wears awfully short shorts
  • The lack of dignity allowed by the activity
  • Being made to laugh whilst stretching because she is terrified that something important will snap.
  • The utter powerlessness of being face down on the floor in front of someone.
  • It's a really fine line between a nice stretch and a painful stretch.

The good things about assisted stretching is that it keeps several problems such as back ache from tight hamstrings and also knee adhesions at bay. Fat Woman is trying to become healthy, and stretching is a part of that so she gets on with it. It can sometimes feel quite good to be stretched. Not very often though.

Fat Woman had just been put through the most awesome progressive circuit that Personal Trainer had thought up and was feeling rather washed out. This was partly because of schedule conflicts; Fat Woman had trained with Personal Trainer the previous day. This had never happened before and Fat Woman had been very careful to take a day off between resistance training days. Fat Woman was surprised at how much her ability seemed to be lowered. Trying to swing a 20kg kettlebell was incredibly hard. So hard in fact that Personal Trainer switch in the pink 8kg kettlebell. Fat Woman asked if Personal Trainer was using a kettlebell to mock her but in fact the next set had different exercises.

When it came to stretching Fat Woman was at her most defenceless. Personal Trainer took great delight in making Fat Woman laugh whilst he was helping stretch her hamstrings. Fat Woman begged him yet again not to but Personal Trainer apparently couldn't help himself and kept on talking. When Personal Trainer tried to put Fat Woman's left leg behind her ear, Fat Woman made a noise that was a cross between a sigh and a squeak. Fat Woman tries not to make noise but she has to let Personal Trainer know when to stop pushing her limbs. Personal Trainer likened the noise Fat Woman had made to the noises made by a lady with whom he had once been intimately acquainted.

Fat Woman assured Personal Trainer that all the noises she made when he had her on her back were genuine.

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