Fat Woman is the Queen of Drama

When Fat Woman and Personal Trainer were discussing aims for 2013 Personal Trainer said they would switch to timed rest periods. Fat Woman agreed that this was an awfully good idea as she and Personal Trainer do use training time to facilitate their friendship. This makes training fun, but can lead to more talking and less working. Fat Woman told Personal Trainer that she was in full support of this principle, and that without meaning to hurt his feelings if it came to a choice between the personal and the professional she would take the professional. Fat Woman is now thinking she ought to check back with Personal Trainer that she didn't actually hurt his feelings. Fat Woman is simply trying very hard to prioritise her health and fitness over everything else in her life. Fat Woman thinks that Personal Trainer is a great person but he is also a brilliant personal trainer and she is likely to find new a friend much more easily than she would a personal trainer of the same calibre.

This exchange set Fat Woman thinking. Fat Woman is glad that she doesn't have to chose with Personal Trainer. Fat Woman started thinking about Swimming Coach. To recap, Swimming Coach not only tried playing power games on a personal front (Fat Woman refused to engage) but had the temerity to warn a colleague off Fat Woman and imply that Fat Woman had had sex with either himself or Personal Trainer. Fat Woman had requested a talk with Swimming Coach but had been ignored. Fat Woman had been avoiding Swimming Coach until she calmed down, but Swimming Coach had escalated to the cut direct. By that point Fat Woman didn't actually care any more and left things alone.

When discussing 2013 activities with Personal Trainer Fat Woman realised that the open water swimming courses begin in April. Personal Trainer asked if Fat Woman had found a replacement for Swimming Coach and Fat Woman admitted that she hadn't. Fat Woman could sign up for a class, but that would take up yet another evening and be a fairly dilute amount of help. Fat Woman could ask the woman who does swimming coach at her gym, but Fat Woman has a fairly low opinion of her finding her insipid as a class teacher and frankly a bit thick. Fat Woman could call up a random swimming coach but would have to pay a fair bit more for the good ones with a public profile.

Fat Woman thought about all the options and decided that as she didn't give two hoots about what Swimming Coach thought she might as well use his services. So Fat Woman waited until Swimming Coach was sitting with Big D PT in the café, walked up to them, said hello to Big D PT, looked Swimming Coach in the face and said: "Would you like to coach me for swimming this year?"

To say Swimming Coach was caught on the hop was an understatement. Swimming Coach is used to DRAAAAAMA. For Swimming Coach, having a target of his drama walk up to him and ignore any personal undercurrent seemed to be a completely new experience. Fat Woman will go so far as to say that she caught Swimming Coach on the hop and that he was taken so far aback he was in Australia. Fat Woman enjoyed that moment immensely  it made her feel powerful. Fat Woman has an aim and no one is going to get in her way.

Swimming Coach has the natural cunning of a weasel and although he didn't bring off a completely smooth response Fat Woman has to admit that he managed to hold the conversation together, inspired no doubt by the smell of a fee. A written transcript would look remarkably civil and very professional. However, Fat Woman wanted no uncertainty. When given a conditional response of "Yes, if you want me to" Fat Woman asked the question again until she got an unconditional positive answer to the question. Throughout this conversation Swimming Coach looked simply terrible. Puffy around the eyes, tired, unfocussed. After some negotiating over date and time for a session Fat Woman thanked Swimming Coach, told Big D PT it was nice to see him, turned on her heel and left.

At no point in the conversation was their any acknowledgement of any of the conflict or drama or bad behaviour. Fat Woman guesses this is one of the benefits of being English: if no one actually says or does anything overt then it can be safely ignored at a future date. Fat Woman is chuckling a little inside because she bets that whatever Swimming Coach was expecting from her, it wasn't THAT. Fat Woman knows for a fact that Swimming Coach has had many messy ends to a relationship, and would put money on the message behind his eyes being NO INFORMATION ON THIS.

Fat Woman texted later just with the date and time and "confirmed". The text back simply said "Confirmed".

Fat Woman guesses this means that she and Swimming Coach are officially communicating again.

Fat Woman is chuckling over a little joke. The joke is so weak that Fat Woman isn't going to tell it to anyone in real life.

Q. What's the difference between Swimming Coach and a weasel?
A. A weasel is weaselly recognised, and Swimming Coach is a twat.

Actually, Fat Woman did tell Not Thin Friend, who laughed, so it obviously has some humour value. Childish humour but hey! any grin's a win.

Fat Woman thoroughly recommends being business-like and unemotional as a weapon in a personal relationship.

Fat Woman is the Queen of Drama. This means that it is Fat Woman who decides when there is to be drama, and when there will not be drama.

Fat Woman and the new boxercise instructor

Fat Woman has been going to the Friday night BoxFit class since April. When Personal Trainer announced he was leaving Fat Woman was instrumental in getting him to sort out someone to take over the class. When Big D PT announced he would no longer take the class due to insurance issues it was Fat Woman who galvanised the other class members to put in comment forms to get a replacement class tutor.

Last week Fat Woman went to her first Boxercise class with the new instructor. There were six people there. The instructor didn't speak directly to Fat Woman or introduce himself but he apparently knew three of the other six attendees already from another class. There was a running warm up, where Fat Woman was obviously unable to keep up with the others, and then they padded all night with the same people. Fat Woman was stuck with the same person all night.

Fat Woman spoke to the instructor afterwards, said thank you for the class, and pointed out that if they didn't say change partners she wouldn't feel able to. Fat Woman made a point of complimenting his music. The instructor was fairly blank about it, not really engaging with Fat Woman, but Fat Woman was feeling a bit shy.

Today Fat Woman was standing at the bar finishing her cup of tea and a chat with the barman. The boxercise instructor came to reception and was waiting for something. Fat Woman called out that she wasn't going to be in class for the next two weeks, but it wasn't because she didn't love the class. Fat Woman only said it because class numbers are a problem for instructors and classes get cancelled if they aren't strong.

Boxercise Instructor said he found that very surprising.

Fat Woman called him on it, asking what he meant.

Boxercise Instructor turned into the kind of mean Queen that Fat Woman thought was a movie cliché. With one hand on his hip Boxercise Instructor announced that Well, he wouldn't have thought Fat Woman liked his class as she had been very quick to criticise. This was said with a venom that took Fat Woman back.

Fat Woman said she was sorry, she didn't mean to offend and she obviously had. Boxercise Instructor declared he wasn't offended, then flounced off giving the lie to his words. This left Fat Woman with a red face and Sweet PT and the barman not entirely knowing what just happened.

The barman laughed and said that Fat Woman should see her face.

Fat Woman said well, that told her.

Fat Woman is non plussed and a little shaken up. What professional teacher feels attacked because a student shares with them what they need to make the class work for them? Fat Woman certainly didn't expect a public put down because she shared what she needed. In fact, Fat Woman expects professional teachers to be sympathetic to the fact that students find change difficult. If the teacher had genuine concerns about Fat Woman then he should have discussed them with her. Fat Woman does love the class, even if she isn't sure about the teacher.

Fat Woman is unsure what to do next. Fat Woman fails to see how this is conducive to her continuing class attendance. If Fat Woman doesn't go to class on a Friday night she can technically end her all-day membership of the gym. Fat Woman had hoped that this would be a good cardio workout that would compliment the rest of her week. However, Fat Woman has never found a PT or class instructor to be that dismissive and nasty. If the Boxercise Instructor had thought Fat Woman wasn't coming back to class all he had to do was to smile and say he'd see Fat Woman then rather than take actions which seem more calculated to put Fat Woman off.

Fat Woman is damned if she is going to give up on her class because one person is nasty to her. At the most generous part of her soul Fat Woman can only imagine that the Boxercise Instructor was actually very insecure and was counter-attacking because of that. Fat Woman also wonders if this is the kind of instructor who only wants very fit people, or even thin people, in his class.

Fat Woman wishes she could talk to someone about this.

Fat Woman and the outside influence

Fat Woman is still going to BoxFit on Friday night even though Tiny Friend doesn't go any more and Personal Trainer doesn't teach the class. The new teacher is Big D PT. Fat Woman is pleased about this because Big D PT is a good teacher and plans his classes properly and it was very nearly Buddy who does not plan his classes.

Friday evening's BoxFit class was based on technique. The technique shown was to punch with the left, return to guard, punch with the right and return to guard. This was shown with jabs, high hooks, low hooks and uppercuts.

Fat Woman checked several times with Big D PT that she was doing it correctly because no one else seemed to be doing what they were told. Everyone else would start from guard, punch left-right, then bring left then right hand back to guard - as Fat Woman would do normally. Fat Woman assumed that this technique was what proper boxers did and that she was just too slow to do it properly.

Personal Trainer was deeply unimpressed with Fat Woman's new technique and told her to (a) stop it immediately and (b) if Big D PT tells her to do anything like that again to ignore it. When Fat Woman protested Personal Trainer asked her if she wanted to be Teacher's Pet. Fat Woman pointed out that she was the teacher's pet in Friday night BoxFit and that Personal Trainer trained her, and it wasn't her fault that the teacher changed.

Fat Woman thinks Personal Trainer was more annoyed than he let on because he decided it was the time to start making Fat Woman defend herself. Fat Woman had got used to Personal Trainer smacking her on the elbow with a pad, but hadn't expect him to start going for the ribs.

Fat Woman pointed out that for her to learn something she needs to be taught it. Personal Trainer said that learning through failure is very effective. Fat Woman is certainly never going to forget that if some idiot is about to slap you on the ribs with a pad that you can lean down to block them.