Saturday, 12 May 2012

Fat Woman and the wardrobe edit

Fat Woman has always been well dressed. Not necessarily well dressed in a US media designer clothes Sex And The City kind of way, but stylishly, appropriately and sometimes even fashionably. Fat Woman has developed her own style and has appeared well groomed and confident at every occasion. Fat Woman liked the French elegance of the bourgeois with its quality and simplicity. Thus Fat Woman's wardrobe has held twin sets in several colours, cashmere jumpers, classic plain slacks in flattering cuts, cotton long sleeved shirts and jeans for informal occasions. Fat Woman has a separate hot weather wardrobe with lined trousers and light tops and shirts.

Fat Woman now weighs less than 300lb. This is essentially a good thing. Thanks to all the work with Personal Trainer Fat Woman has also dropped at least four dress sizes. This change has presented Fat Woman with a new challenge. Fat Woman had a vague idea that she could continue to wear her current wardrobe until she was stabilised at her target weight. After all, if you are too fat you can't fit into something but if the clothes are too big you can get into them.

Fat Woman was enjoying getting slimmer. Jeans that were previously tight around the thigh now fit perfectly. Unfortunately this meant that the previously fitting waistline became gaping. At the point where she was belting her jeans almost directly under her breasts Fat Woman realised she was starting to look ridiculous and went and bought some jeans that fitted her.

Fat Woman obviously had no idea of just how small her body would get, or what the actual effects of this would be. Being a smaller size means that necklines don't sit in place but instead fall sideways to show bra straps or forwards to show breasts and bra. Trousers with a bunched in waist tied up high have a habit of slipping down. Fat Woman is not averse to showing off flesh, but there is a time and a place and in front of Personal Trainer is definitely not one of them. A rising of t-shirt to show a gap above the waistband might be forgiven in the gym but the flashing of stretch-marked breast in the coffee bar would be simply inappropriate. Fat Woman doesn't want to traumatise the poor boy. Whilst all men have to realise that women age and are generally flawed as a result it is a realisation which should dawn on them slowly, not be thrust upon them during their tender years.

On Saturday Fat Woman edited the contents of her wardrobe. Actually, it was the contents of both her wardrobe, the drawer under the bed and the large pine chest where she kept causal tops and jumpers. The mental jump was that Fat Woman is now a UK 24/26 and all the 30/32 clothes looked ridiculous. As Fat Woman was consistently a size 30/32 for the last 15 years this meant her formerly well-stocked wardrobe was decimated. Fat Woman had been relying on the clothes left over from her five stone weight loss period in 2007. Having located those which had not been thrown out Fat Woman was nonplussed when she found most of these clothes were also too big.

Fat Woman obviously has no idea of the scale of her body at different weights, or how that relates to clothes.

Fat Woman is left with the following:

Two pairs of well-fitting jeans, one black, one blue - bought new recently.
Two pairs of not so well fitting jeans.
One pair of black trousers, bought recently.

One top which fits, bought recently.
One cotton Indian style top left over from the last weight loss.
Two t-shirts, one new, one formerly too small.
Two blouses which were formerly too tight in the arms but which now fit much better.
Four long sleeved and eight short sleeved tops in the 3X size from Lands End. They don't fit but they won't cause flashing either. The short sleeved tops are part of twin sets, but the cardigans are a bit flappy to wear.

One black suit with two tops to go with it.
The skirt suit Fat Woman wore to her graduation.
One ball dress, rescued from the parental home. This was Fat Woman's first ball dress and is still a gorgeous classic cut in red velvet.
One short, light coat from last weight loss period.
One macintosh.
One utterly fabulous black suede jacket

Fat Woman can cope with a limited wardrobe. The big problem is gym clothes. Fat Woman's formerly comfortable, flattering and secure black workout trousers are now belted under her breasts. Whilst Fat Woman thinks this is actually a reasonable measure to ensure there are no gaps twixt waistband and t-shirt, the trousers don't like to stay where she ties them. Fat Woman wears and washes at least one, if not two, sets of gym clothes every day. Fat Woman simply doesn't have enough capacity to be able to edit out her gym clothes. And of course the shops are empty of gym clothes for fat ladies now it it past the January resolution time.

Whilst Fat Woman is keen to stay modest in front of Personal Trainer recent events have shown that Personal Trainer has absolutely no consideration for how Fat Woman looks. On the one hand, it is nice that Personal Trainer and Fat Woman have the kind of relationship where it doesn't matter what Fat Woman looks like. Fat Woman appreciates that Personal Trainer sees her as a person and that her value to him doesn't rest on her appearance. In fact her value rests on the £35 Fat Woman hands over every Monday, but that is as it should be. Personal Trainer did once say Fat Woman was beautiful, but it was in the context of Fat Woman pointing out to him that "We've already established you're the pretty one in this relationship." Personal Trainer said "You're beautiful!" in a very convincing manner, recovering from apparent shock that Fat Woman would say that. Fat Woman gave him one of her looks and replied in her most definite fashion: "I have personality." Fat Woman doesn't need people to tell her she is beautiful, which is lucky because most of her beauty comes from within. Personal Trainer is young and is used to being thought good looking and attractive and much more of his self image rests on how he is perceived, so far as Fat Woman can tell. Fat Woman sometimes asks Personal Trainer if "Polly wants a cracker?" because he is looking at himself in the mirror or saying something which essentially means he is asking "Who's a pretty boy then?"

Even so, on the one day that Fat Woman took time after training to primp extensively and appeared in the café wearing well-fitting clothes, carefully styled hair, flattering make up and even jewellery, it might have been expected that Personal Trainer could bring himself to say "you look nice." After all, the boy serving in the café told Fat Woman she looked nice with such enthusiasm Fat Woman forgave the  unflattering surprise. And the fat personal trainer said the same thing when she arrived two minutes later. Fat Woman had even thought she looked pretty good herself. Personal Trainer did not comment, although Fat Woman saw him noticing that she looked different. As mentioned before, Personal Trainer notices everything. It became apparent that Personal Trainer was not going to throw Fat Woman a bone by making a compliment - "Not going to stoop" was what was actually said. Therefore Fat Woman feels completely justified in going to training sessions looking streelish.

Fat Woman knows that Personal Trainer likes her best all hot and sweaty.

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