Thursday, 2 August 2012

Fat Woman the addict

Fat Woman started smoking in self-defence. Tired of being goody-goody and sick of breathing second hand smoke on the bus to college she found that holding your own cigarette was much more pleasant. There was also the possibility that smoking was good for weight loss. Certainly there was an appetite suppressant effect. During her first year at university Fat Woman lost some weight from smoking lots and not eating much.

By the time Fat Woman was 25 years old she was 25 stone in weight. Cigarettes were part of Fat Woman's self-medication routine as she tried to cope with life with an undiagnosed thyroid condition. Walking became harder for Fat Woman as cigarettes started damaging her ability to breathe. The appetite suppressant effect was not enough to compensate for the reduced mobility. 

Fat Woman stopped smoking the day she realised she was an addict. Thin Husband looked at the three packets remaining of the 400 duty free cigarettes he had brought home and said: "Have you smoked all these already?" Thin Husband never comments so Fat Woman was shocked into looking. Fat Woman was even more shocked when she realised she was smoking 30 cigarettes each day. 

Fat Woman quit smoking when she realised she was an addict. Fat Woman knew that she was no better than an alcoholic or a drug addict. The fact was that she spent time thinking about cigarettes, planning when to get cigarettes and when to smoke them. 

Fat Woman went cold turkey at 02.30am on 2nd August 2003 and hasn't smoked a cigarette since. Fat Woman credits a large part of this effort to the people of the news group. The collection of wisdom called  "Junkie Thinking" opened Fat Woman's eyes and removed many of the mental hurdles that had previously tripped her up. The most important lesson was that Fat Woman was never going to be able to have a cigarette again. Thinking of herself as an addict - or rather, understanding that she was an addict - gave Fat Woman the freedom to take the protective measures she needed to stay away from cigarettes. 

The most motivational tool for Fat Woman was the Quit Meter. Fat Woman would join the members of of posting her statistics every Sunday. Fat Woman was also registered on the (AS3) "Quit List". Fat Woman is still on the AS3 quit list and is extremely proud of her place there. Fat Woman had dreams where she smoked again and was devastated to have to share the news with the community and reset her meter.

This is Fat Woman's meter today:
I stopped smoking on Sat, 02 Aug 2003 01:30:00 GMT. It has been 469 weeks, 5 days, 8 hours, 57 minutes and 19 seconds since I quit. I have saved £19730.24 by choosing not to smoke 98651 cigarettes. More importantly, I saved 107 weeks, 4 days 14 hours 3 minutes of my life!

Actually, Fat Woman has probably saved £30,000. The lower figure was calculated on £4 per pack of £20 and the price now is £7.50.

Whatever happens in Fat Woman's life, whatever she does or doesn't do, however bad things get Fat Woman is able to say: "I did not start smoking again".

Fat Woman is so proud of her quit, in a way that she would be embarrassed to share with people face to face. Unlike weight loss, which always seems something of a duty to make up for her moral failings, Fat Woman still gets a fierce glow of achievement from remaining an ex-smoker.

Fat Woman is thinking that it's a jolly good job she gave up smoking because now she has a personal trainer habit and that is even more expensive than cigarettes.

Fat Woman is on the lookout for exercise addiction, but doesn't seem in any danger.

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