Thursday, 22 November 2012

Fat Woman and the hot pants

Fat Woman doesn't actually have any hot pants. What Fat Woman does have is a pair of hip-to-ankle neoprene leggings called "Flares" as made by Zaggora. The name "flare" is ironic as they squeeze you tightly and definitely don't flare out. Zaggora also make "hot pants". They look like capri pants to Fat Woman, but apparently the point it that they help raise your core temperature.

Fat Woman has been wearing her Flares since purchasing them. Fat Woman agrees that the Flares make you sweat a lot, but she found them more useful for support. Fat Woman hates feeling her outlying regions wobble when she does pad work. The laws of physics apply and suddenly Fat Woman finds she is working against bits of her that are still travelling in the opposite direction.

Fat Woman has become allergic to neoprene, or at the very least the stuff from which the Zaggora Flares are made. Fat Woman has had trouble with her legs for months but thought it was an infection. On the last day of her last set of antibiotics Fat Woman had a horrible reaction that could not possibly have been an infection.

Now Fat Woman has nothing to wear as a supporting garment. Apparently skins are only worn by very thin people. Fat ladies are only allowed to wear yoga pants and cotton t-shirts. Fat Woman is desperate to find something practical to hold everything in.

Fat Woman is just not catching a break these days.

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