Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Fat Woman feasts visually

Fat Woman meant to go to Aquarobics this morning. Fat Woman goes to Aquarobics on Tuesday to get her over the Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness caused by meeting Personal Trainer on Monday. Fat Woman chases the anaesthetic effects of cardio.

Today, instead of enjoying forty-five fun minutes of water based dance movements Fat Woman was tapping her foot at home whilst waiting for the painter and decorator to arrive. Fat Woman thinks Painter/Decorator is lucky he's good at what he does or she would be Very Upset. Fat Woman dislikes lateness and thinks that in 2012 with the ubiquity of mobile telephones any failure to Let People Waiting Know is rude beyond belief.

Having failed to make Aquarobics, Fat Woman had to go into the gym for some cardio. Fat Woman has a walk with a friend on Tuesday afternoons so didn't want to do any treadmill work but managed 2k on the rowing machine and 4k on the stationary bike. Fat Woman likes intervals on the rower and pyramids on the bike, starting from 1 mph for a minute each and 80+ revolutions per minute. Fat Woman also hit the punch bag.  Personal Trainer has stopped treating Fat Woman with kid gloves and insists that she has to move around when punching the bag. Fat Woman has been promised he will provide tea and sympathy should she end up with a bloody nose.

Fat Woman was happy that her iPod had new music on. Fat Woman has worked out that it takes 40 pulls to carry her through 250m. Fat Woman closes her eyes and count pulls instead of watching the metres tick by on the console.

In her fifth interval Fat Woman opened her eyes and saw the most exceptionally gorgeous rear view of a man she has seen in a long time. Fat Woman is not a visually orientated person when it comes to the opposite sex so was greatly surprised by her mental reaction. In her head, Fat Woman exclaimed: "PHWOAR!" Fat Woman was taken aback by the utter gorgeousness of the gentleman in question.

Fat Woman was even more taken aback when the man turned around and she saw that she had in fact been admiring the rear of Swimming Coach.

Fat Woman feels that she has rather embarrassed herself. As a married Fat Woman does not think it seemly for her to be ogling young men. Fat Woman certainly doesn't want to embarrass or revolt any young men by being seen to "fancy" them.

Fat Woman has made a mental note to compliment Swimming Coach on how well the body building is working.

No comments:

Post a Comment