Monday, 19 March 2012

Fat Woman has to chose

Fat Woman invited her mother-in-law to stay. Thin Husband never wants to invite his mother to stay although he likes it when she arrives. Fat Woman has to take responsibility for inviting the mother-in-law therefore facilitating Thin Husband's relationship with his mother.

Fat Woman belongs to a choir that meets on Tuesday evenings. It is the one activity Fat Woman does that is unrelated to exercise. Fat Woman has a busy life right now. Most of Fat Woman's life is filled with exercise, personal trainers, travelling to and from the gym, getting washed and changed, washing gym kit etc. The rest of Fat Woman's life seems to be meal planning, shopping and cooking, plus assorted domestic chores.

Thin Husband's mother arrives at lunch time on Friday and leaves at lunchtime on Monday. Since booking this visit Fat Woman has:
(1) Boxercise class (with friend) on Friday evening
(2) Personal Trainer on Monday morning
(3) Choir rehearsal on Sunday afternoon.

Fat Woman believes that visitors are sacred and should be prioritised. After all, Fat Woman did invite her mother-in-law well in advance. Fat Woman also made a commitment to her choir. However Fat Woman also made a commitment to herself. Only today Fat Woman sat down with Personal Trainer and agreed a weight loss goal of 12lb in the next four weeks plus some large distance targets.

Fat Woman is resentful that she has to chose. If Thin Husband was different Fat Woman wouldn't worry about leaving him alone with his own mother, but Fat Woman knows that he can miss signals and be a little clueless at times. As Fat Woman's mother-in-law comes to stay once every three years Fat Woman feels very obliged to honour that commitment. Yet Choir Director says it's "critical" that everyone attends. Oh, and the photographs will be taken then. Photographs that once again Fat Woman won't be in.

Fat Woman is inclined to choose training over anything else right now. Yet again, Fat Woman feels incredibly selfish in choosing herself over pleasing others. Fat Woman is starting to develop a centre of angry coated in tough. For her entire life Fat Woman has been made to feel lazy and unacceptable because she was fat and unfit. Now Fat Woman is changing that.  That change is the most important thing to Fat Woman.

Fat Woman is sacrificing a whole year of her life on the altar of her health aims. Fat Woman isn't going to compromise that without a damn good reason. Being part of the choir isn't a good enough reason.

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