Saturday, 18 February 2012

Fat Woman makes water more interesting

Fat Woman drinks lots of water. This is partly because Fat Woman is a fat woman and needs more water than a thin woman. It is mostly because if Fat Woman feels thirsty she might mistake thirst for hunger and eat instead. Fat Woman also read somewhere that drinking lots of water increases your metabolism, but Fat Woman hasn't seen the peer reviewed evidence for that.

Fat Woman understands that people can get very bored of water. Fat Woman has seen lots of articles promoted on Twitter making this claim. Fat Woman has made her pure H20 more interesting and believes this is better done in these fascinating ways than simply squeezing a lemon into it.

(1) Fat Woman makes her water read the newspaper every day. This gives the water something to discuss. Fat Woman likes a good debate about world politics and being informed makes you interesting.

(2) Fat Woman puts the water on a handsome man. Sometimes Fat Woman puts the handsome man in the water, but mostly the handsome man is holding the water. Sometimes Fat Woman lets him use a glass.

(3) Fat Woman plays Russian Roulette with a water pistol. Sometimes there is one full chamber. Sometimes there are three full chambers, like in The Deer Hunter. Fat Woman tried playing the game with a super soaker but nearly drowned.

(4) Fat Woman put her water on the potato plants, then processed the potatoes into vodka. Clear and pure like water, and definitely more interesting.

(5) Fat Woman printed a "Dihydrogen Monoxide" label for mineral water bottles and sold them to the gym bunnies.

Fat Woman would like to hear how you make your water more interesting.

1 comment:

  1. I don't have any ways yet, but you've challenged me to think of a few!