Saturday, 5 January 2013

Fat Woman and her stack

Fat Woman has a stack. At least, that's how Fat Woman thinks she is meant to refer to the collection of pills and powders she has assembled.

Fat Woman has been aware that the boys take pre and post workout supplements (see Fat Woman gets chemically buzzed) but as she was concentrating on losing weight not on building muscle she didn't think such things applied to her. Fat Woman is not exactly a person of principles, preferring to evaluate each truth and reassess it on a regular basis, but she has stuck fairly well to the principle that she would like to get her nutrients through food rather than supplements. This lasted until Fat Woman was faced with giving up her morning granola. Fat Woman made the decision that it would be easier to swallow a protein shake every morning than cook eggs. Fat Woman is now drinking unflavoured whey isolate mixed with orange juice and not making a noise like a waste disposal unit immediately afterwards. This is all because Personal Trainer reviewed Fat Woman's nutrition and set her new guidelines. Fat Woman isn't feeling any better for it, but any change in her diet usually means a month of refocussing before she gets it right.

Fat Woman had announced to Personal Trainer that she wanted to "lift heavy". Fat Woman wonders what the hell happens to her grasp of the English language when she gets into the gym. Fat Woman puts it down to too much time spent in the presence of children young people like Sparky and Personal Trainer.

Personal Trainer agreed that Fat Woman could lift heavy weights, and so she did. Fat Woman then suffered severe DOMS for the next three days and realised that unless she wanted to spend five days out of every seven on painkillers she would have to take recovery seriously.

Fat Woman stuck her head into the Internet but it was some time before she could sift what works for men and what works for women. Thankfully, Muscle & Fitness Hers posted a link on their Twitter feed to this article on 24 hour nutrition  by Jim Stoppani. On the one hand, the article is five years old. On the other hand Jim Stoppani meets Fat Woman's twin requirements of being scientifically educated (at least, he has a PhD according to the website. Fat Woman hopes it isn't a PhD in literature) and being personally successful at training. See his personal photos at

Fat Woman extracted the following recommendations from the article:
3-5 grams of arginine
200-300 mg of caffeine.
20 grams of whey protein (one scoop of most powders).
20-30 grams of slow-digesting carbs
2-5 grams of creatine
30-40 grams of whey protein
30-40 grams of fast-digesting carbs
2-5 grams of creatine.

Fat Woman then sent the list to Personal Trainer for his approval. Fat Woman might be projecting but she thinks she might have sensed a moment of Personal Trainer rolling his eyes and wondering why Fat Woman trusts the Internet more than she does his professional opinion. Fat Woman doesn't exactly, but she knows that her autonomy and mastery are a big part of keeping her motivated. Personal Trainer gave it the okay, with a suggestion of not over doing it with the whey powder unless Fat Woman wanted very expensive urine. Fat Woman also liked that joke when Sheldon made it on the Big Bang. Personal Trainer also cautioned Fat Woman that you can get headaches from taking caffeine with arginine, so when neither shop had any caffeine pills Fat Woman skipped buying them on the grounds she can always have a coffee.

Fat Woman has been to the health food shop and bought arginine and creatine pills. Fat Woman also bought glucosamine from the pound shop because some people recommend that for recovery as well. Fat Woman has Branch Chain Amino Acids which she was taking instead of protein powder for recovery and is hoping to be able to use those in this new regime.

Fat Woman is agog at the cost of supplements. Pills look initially to be just a few pounds a box, but actually they are low dose and Fat Woman will need to take at least four of each to meet the requirements. Fat Woman is hoping they prove to be worth it. Fat Woman was thoroughly scared by the research showing that women who take ibuprofen lots are prone to hearing loss.

Fat Woman is going to rattle after training sessions as well as creak.

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