Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Fat Woman and the whale

Personal Trainer had learnt some new facts. Fat Woman is not a terribly good person to tell facts to as she wants to know the source and how the experiment that established the fact was conducted.

Personal Trainer asked if Fat Woman knew that the late Steve Irwin was terrified of parrots. Fat Woman said she vaguely remembered that from his obtituraties.

Personal Trainer asked if Fat Woman was aware that she was related to a banana. Fat Woman said that she was au fait with the joke where the biology student says we should give gorillas human rights because their DNA is 98% the same as ours and the professor points out that we share 83% of our DNA with a banana.

Personal Trainer asked if Fat Woman knew how much a whale's tongue weighed. Fat Woman was about to say that she knew that the largest penis in the world came from the blue whale and weighed 60lb, but she stopped herself because although it is the kind of fact that sticks in your mind it is not the kind of fact you want to admit to knowing.

Personal Trainer said that a whale's tongue weighed the same as a bus. Fat Woman immediately asked what size of bus. Was it a mini bus, a double decker? Personal Trainer said it was a standard bus from the local bus company. There had been a special trip to the Arctic to make the comparison.

Fat Woman asked Personal Trainer if he knew how to weigh a whale. Personal Trainer said he did not know.

Fat Woman told Personal Trainer that the way to weigh a whale is to take it to the whale-weigh station.

Personal Trainer said that was very good and asked if Fat Woman had just made that up. Fat Woman could not believe that Personal Trainer got all the way to 21 years old without ever hearing that joke.

Fat Woman thinks Personal Trainer might have lived a charmed life.

Fat Woman thinks Personal Trainer was very sweet not to suggest that the way to weight a whale was for her to get on the scales as normal.

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