Monday, 14 January 2013

Fat Woman gets competitive

Fat Woman isn't a very competitive person. Fat Woman knows that to be considered the best you just have to move to stand amongst people who aren't as good as you. Fat Woman used to play competitive sport - actually, it was classical music, but it was really cut-throat - and knows that someone, somewhere will always be better than you. Unless you are a gold medal winning Olympian of course, but Fat Woman isn't planning to take part in the 2016 Olympics, unless either the weight lifting or the shooting start going really, really well.

Fat Woman saw a fat woman at the gym. Fat Woman wanted to run up and introduce herself and share stories and helpful tips and maybe make a new friend who understood what life could be like for a fat woman. Fat Woman restrained herself because she hadn't been introduced to the fat woman and because she knows how hurtful it is when people make assumptions about you and patronise you. Fat Woman also knows that a woman being fat is no indication of whether she and Fat Woman are going to get along. Fat Woman will not force a connection with another person in order to serve her own feelings. After all, what could knowing Fat Woman possibly add to the life of another fat woman?

Fat Woman asked Personal Trainer if the fat woman was fatter than her. Personal Trainer reacted with incredulity before catching himself. Personal Trainer said that Fat Woman was very much slimmer than the fat woman. Personal Trainer also said that compliments were due in week three of Fat Woman's six week training plan, but that he would allow it because Fat Woman had improved her lifting ahead of schedule.

Fat Woman is trying to adjust the mental picture she has in her head. Fat Woman was the fattest woman in the gym. Now Fat Woman is no longer the fattest woman in either her gym or Personal Trainer's gym.

Fat Women feels like she owes that fat woman an apology, although Fat Woman is not quite sure for what exactly. Fat Woman knows she is guilty of something, but Fat Woman is not sure that either projection or making comparisons is a stain on etiquette or the soul.

Fat Woman is no longer the fattest person in the room. Fat Woman is not sure how this is going to affect her sense of self.

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